Roar

 As the deer pants for water, so my soul pants for you, my God. 

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God, when can I go and meet with God? 

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls, all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

By day the LORD directs His love, at night His song is with me-- a prayer to the God of my life.

Psalm 42: 1,2, 7,8 

This is the scripture my blog is named for.

It's based on something I experienced in the summer of 1994. 39 years old and ready for a midlife crisis or...hopefully... deliverance. I was looking for the promise in Psalm 23, 

"He restores my soul."

Trauma from all seasons of my life had closed down my soul and calloused my heart toward relationships I treasured. I was altogether 💔 broken hearted.

I was crying out to hear from the LORD...He had spoken to me in the past but I wondered where He was now...I felt deserted in my brokeness?

I set aside 3 days to fast and pray...something I had never done before. 

I was at the end of my rope and at the end of myself. 

As I closed the door in our dining room, I fell prostrate on the wood floor, before the LORD; I was sobbing without restraint. 

It seemed I had failed at everything I held dear...all my most important roles.

a wife, a mom, a teacher, a christian...nothing worked,

all was amiss. 

I knew that without a concrete break through I was dying in every way...spiritually, physically, emotionally. 

I knew I needed to hear from Jesus...the lover of my soul. 

When He answered...it manifested as a Wellspring bubbling up inside of my very core. 

It was more than words, more than pictures...it was a tangible encounter. It was a tangible voice and a life provoking touch from heaven.

The Living Water spoken of in John 7:37 was actually manifesting inside & outside of me.

As water in the natural has a dual purpose- it can wash us on the outside and satisfy our thirst on the inside...so His streams began to speak and minister to my soul. 

1 Corinthians 12:13

As the Wellspring of adjustment, correction, forgiveness, enlightenment and sweet compassion bubbled up...

I was enabled to pray over my problems with Holy Spirit's help. A re-adjustment and re-alignment was taking place supernaturally.

The force of the waters was washing out debri from within. A new song also came forth...

all this process taking hours (but seemed like minutes) just laying on the floor in a puddle of tears. 

Then as I waited in His presence...a waterfall began to fall over me...joining, combining and fortifying the Wellspring coming up from within my soul. 

It was a joining, a marriage of the waters of salvation- The Wellspring and The Holy Rivers from His Throne Room.

I was literally and supernaturally overcome by "the roar of His waterfalls." 

A few minutes into this experience...

the flow turned to Living Fire 🔥 and lastly I was covered by the Cloud.

After deep groaning & loud wailing... 

then joy filled singing...

then spirit led prayer...

then all caught on fire 🔥 like the burning bush...

Lastly, the most profound quiet settled over me. 

The Cloud. There are no words to describe.

So much more happened that day in the LORD'S exquisite and magnificent presence...

it really needs to be shared in person. It's a marvelous part of my lifelong testimony...another marvelous milestone.

Here...I just thought I would explain the title of my blog. 

I pray you will experience His voice and His presence in a very personal and special way. Faith works through love and love is an engagement 💍 and an encounter. 

It's freely given and generously available to you...if you ask.

We have the wondrous and terrible gift of free will so we must ask, seek and knock. 

"Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone opens the door I will come in and sup (commune) with him." 

Revelation 3:19,20

What a surprise and joy to discover...

when we reach for the door...

when we look for the gate...

He's already anticipating and waiting there. He is waiting in the garden, the place of Engedi.

He is like a bouquet of henna blossoms--

henna plucked by (Engedi) the fountain of the Lamb.

I will hold Him and never let Him part. 

Song of Songs 1:14

Engedi means fountain of the Lamb. The Hebrew word for henna is a homonym which can mean "atoning grace". 

Passion Translation.

Exposures in the Church & Stone Throwers

Plop! 

Stones are for creating,

beautiful, 

expanding,

sweet tasting,

lyrical sounding,

ripples of Life and Light...

Within God's stream of Living Waters. 

Stones are not for harm.

Are you a stone thrower?

I urge caution. 

John 8:7 & 2 Samuel 16:6

These 2 scriptures give amazing examples of both...

Just and righteous exposures 

and unrighteous stone throwing.

It is God who is exposing ministries & leaders who have gone astray...

Who have disregarded God's warnings to repent.

God is in charge of exposures and sometimes He appoints people to bring these exposures "to light". 

However, I warn...

Walk softly here.

The New Testament cautions us to be motivated by restoration; to restore the fallen in gentleness and humility lest we fall in the same way. 

Restoring the fallen to His salvation- not to positions or platforms.

Light is antiseptic and light heals. ✨️ 

Light helps us to avoid hiding in our own areas of darkness. We all have them.

Light is what creates perception, understanding and revelation. 

Ecclesiastes declares, "Light is sweet".

Light exposes perfectly.

It is never our ministry to accuse or judge, it is only our place to "bring to light". 

Jesus is the Light. 

Light brings justice.

There is goodness in clarifying these abuses of power, to the body of Christ....this is true.

Because of sheep who have been hurt, discouraged and misled by ministries who've gone far off target. 

Yet...it is extremely important as well...

To avoid appointing  ourselves to be STONE THROWERS. 

IT is core to the heart of the LORD to expose for restoration and for good. 

God alone exposes, God alone judges and God alone restores and heals. 

Yes, predators must be removed. They must not be allowed to be pastors or shepherds, ever! 

Wolves in sheep clothing are being exposed but so is our own tendency to idolize church celebrities!

We all left predators in their positions...we gave our time, service, offerings and backing to them. 

We must discern, judge ourselves and take responsibility for our own idolatry. We must judge our own lack of insight while innocents were being abused.

I am speaking here, about the trap of becoming caught up in a "pharisaic attitude" or "spirit of self righteousness". 

Self righteousness is a pride-full lie and this can cause us to be calloused & oblivious to predators as well. Put down the stones.

I'm talking about how we each respond to the Lord's ordained exposures. We must approach in humility and gratefulness for His redemption.

In John 8:7 Jesus confronts the pharisees when a lowly woman, 

caught in adultery, 

is publicly humiliated, 

abandoned, 

on purpose, 

in their midst. 

That yeast of adultery & idolatry had spread thru the whole loaf yet they wanted to stone her, alone. They weren't aware of their own lowliness, nakedness or hypocrisy.

In the same way, this current Jezebel (seducing) spirit has spread thru the whole of the church. 

We all, as believers, in small ways, partook of the same forbidden fruit. Otherwise we would not have been so blind to this long standing atmosphere of church abuse. Right?

Our leaders are bearing the responsibilty of these exposures, as well they should. "To whom much is given, much is expected."

Yet, if we look at the story of David fleeing the wrath of Absalom in 2 Samuel 16...

We see Shimei pelting David and the king's officials with stones. He publicly accuses David  and mocks his time of exposure. 

This does not bode well for Shimei because he found himself on his own knees asking David for mercy in 2 Samuel 19:18...once David was restored.

David's repentance and judgment had already come through Nathan the prophet. It was not Shimei's place to judge or publicly accuse...or to throw stones.

He accused David of murdering Saul's family which actually was Saul's doing. 

Shimei had the right crime as David had done something similar but Shimei was not God's chosen minister of exposure. 

I do urge caution to those on social media platforms.

I'm telling you...put down the stones! 

Shimei means "renowned". Are these social platforms using God's exposures for their own renown? 

In Solomon's reign, Shimei did reap a severe consequence for his stone throwing! (1 Kings 2:36) Shimei lost his life, years later...under David's heir.

However, David, being humbled, showed Shimei the same mercy God had shown to him. A perfect example of God's justice system.

Stones are for building up the church and stones are for releasing oil and living water....aren't they?

Let us not self appoint ourselves as stone throwers. Let God finish His perfect work of refining the church...as only He can do in perfect Holiness, perfect purity and perfect love.

"His ways are high above our ways and His thoughts are high above our thoughts."

Isaiah 55: 8